Buried Innocence
by AlexHamato
Summary: Just one moment is all it takes to rip apart life-long bonds. One moment to change lives. One moment to bring the world of an individual to its knees. One moment to change everything, forever.
1. The beginning

_I was watching this movie by Oliver Stone about the 9/11 attacks and was really moved by the courage it took them to keep on striving to live even with all that debris buried on top of them. This isn't actually about 9/11, really. It has some of the same ideals as that attack, but it's on a different day, a different situation, and different people. Er, mutants. This took me only three to four hours to type, surprisingly. So hopefully it doesn't seem rushed or anything. I rarely write from first perspective, so this is me really stepping out of my boundaries as a writer. Hope ya'll enjoy!_

_I do not own Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Nickelodeon does. _

* * *

I can't hear anything. Either I'm deaf or the whole damn world has died and I'm stuck here blind with some huge ass rock crushing my legs. I have to find the others. I can't just lay here on my ass like a useless asshole while they die. Reaching out to touch and push on the damn slab, I can feel bones crunch as new waves of pain shoot past my legs. It's like my nerves are on fucking fire.

They're dead. Nobody could have survived that. Don't know why the hell I did. I never believed in that bullshit nonsense called fate. What happens, happens. There's nobody controlling what's happening to me. I make my own decisions, even if they're dumb as fuck. That explosion that destroyed the sewers right where we were walking didn't seem like no coincidence though. Either somebody is out to get us, or we're unlucky as fuck.

"Damn it! Can anybody hear me? Say something!"

Nothing. I don't hear a damn thing.

"Answer me!"

I slam the bottom end of my fist against the rock jammed into my legs and grind my teeth at the new pain. Even if it means I'm alive, that doesn't amount to shit if the others are dead. They weren't the far apart from me. Maybe only a few feet. They have to be able to hear me. They can't be dead. Not like this.

"Come on! Answer me you selfish sons-of-a-bitches!"

Quiet clicks of rock on rock as they tumble around me and I cover my eyes with my arms, not that nobody can see me almost bawl. I spit out the dust and pebbles that fell into my mouth, "Who's there? Leo?"

"Don," he hacks and coughs out whatever shit is in his lungs, "I'm moving. Just keep talking, I'll find you."

"And do what? I have a six hundred fucking pound rock crushing my legs. You have to try to find the others, Don. I can't hear them. Nobody's talked or nothing since I came too. How come you're not buried alive under all this shit?"

"I dove under a side archway that leads into another tunnel. I figured the structure would stand up more during a collapse. If I was smart, I would've dragged one of you with me, but I didn't think of it at the time." His voice was far off to my left. The dumbass was just circling around me.

"Yeah, whatever. I didn't think nothing. Just thought the whole damn world blew up and that I was dead. Can't be that dead if I'm talking to you, though." He stops talking, but I can still hear him shuffling around and bark out, "You're circling around me, dumbass! I'm over here."

"I can't see three inches in front of my face and your voice keeps on bouncing off everything because you're so loud. I need to find out what the dimensions of this rubble is. Leo and Mike can't be that far away. They were right next to us when the gas leak happened."

More rocks and dust moving around as Don scrambles over whatever the hell was left of the sewers. We must have been lower from the surface that I thought, since I don't see any trace of light. "What about your phone? Can't you use that?"

"Destroyed."

"That's bullshit! It can survive being dropped in the damn toilet!" I don't know why I said that, I'm such a dumbass. "Whatever. Nothing we can do about it now. How come you're getting farther away?"

"I can't find them. They're nowhere near us. They must be under all of this rubble. I can't find anything, not even traces of blood or-or anything. I can't find them at all." He's getting more hysterical now. I need to get him to stop freaking out over them. He's going to lose it.

"Then get me the fuck out from under this rock!" They can't be dead. He won't believe it. He won't believe it for one damn second. Not while he's still breathing. "Calm the fuck down and get your ass over here, Don."

I can hear him stumbling towards me and dropping at my side. His hands were shaking so much, I actually thought he was having some kind of seizure. I couldn't tell if his hands were wet from sweat, blood, or from bawling. I didn't care. I just want to find the others and get the fuck out of this hellhole.

His hands grip the bottom of the rock and I can hear him grunt and groan, trying to get the damn thing off me. The rock is quivering because of his arms straining from lifting it, and hot drops of what smelled like blood leaked down on my skin. He's got the big rock maybe an inch off me, and I still can't move worth shit. He puts the rock back down with a lot more force than I would've liked as I can hear myself howl, "Fuck! Don! Don't drop it!"

"I can't move it."

"Yes, you fucking can. You haul around those engines all the time. You can lift this."

"This isn't an engine, Raph. I can't get a hold on it. My hands are too bloody."

"I didn't ask for why you can't do it, I told you to lift this motherfucking rock off me!"

He isn't saying anything. I can't even hear him breathing, even though I know he's sitting right next to me. Maybe I'm nothing but an asshole, but right now I really don't give a fuck. I need to get out so that we can find the others. I can still move my arms, so I reach towards him and wrestle for his hands, "Fuck, Don. What's with your hands? I thought you told me you weren't injured!"

"I didn't tell you that, I told you that I was moving. There's a difference," he sounds like he was about ready to spit acid in my eyes as he yanks his hands out of my grip and shuffles around me, "I don't have to use my hands to lift this. Just give me a few minutes, I need to find something."

"Just leave me. Go get some flashlights or something useful. Like a bottle of whiskey. Fuck I'm thirsty."

"You can get your own damn whiskey after I dig you out. I'm not leaving you here."

I lick around the outside of my mouth, tasting dust, blood, and more grit that felt more like I was swallowing wet concrete. I spit out most of what I could and nod, "Fine. Be an asshole."

"Only following the example of the greatest asshole of this century."

"Who, George Patton? Because that bastard was the greatest asshole of all time."

"I retract my last statement. Just don't move, I found what I was looking for."

There is some grinding next to my legs where the rock is as I can feel the pressure tilt off. I can't feel much in my legs anymore, or anything really, but I could care less as I'm finally out. Dust and all kinds of shit rains on me as he grabs my arm and drags me out. Don tosses something away and it sounds like a giant hunk of metal as he stands, lifting me up beside him. Brilliant bastard actually found a plank of metal to pry me out from under that rock.

I tried to move my legs forward, but my head whited out with pain. I breathed heavily through my nose and clenched Don like he was my only lifeline. I was completely useless. Now I know why Mike hated his legs being broken so damn badly.

"They're dead, aren't they?"

I didn't want to answer him. His entire body is shaking and twitching like he's having a spell and even though he's the one holding my ass up, I grip his shoulders as hard as my hands would let me and snap, "Shut up, Don. We're not going to think about that shit now."

"I killed them. This was all my idea. My stupid_, stupid_ idea."

"What idea? I don't even remember why the hell we came down here."

"I dragged you all out of the lair to watch the maiden voyage of the first completely amphibious motorized vehicle built by mankind," Don sounds like he has glass in his throat to choke him up, "This never would have happened if I just went by myself and-,"

"Don't fuck yourself over like that, Don. Don't even think like that. It'll screw with you for the rest of your miserable life. Got it?" I don't even have to bring up that I know that from experience. He already knows, he's lived with me long enough.

Don nods and I pat his head like we're five again. Leo always did that to me, to all of us. I have to find him. I have to find both of them. My legs don't move like they should, but Don don't seem to care as he drags my useless ass around the rubble. This looks pretty pathetic in my head, some great Ninjas we are. All it takes is one huge ass explosion and we're crawling around like legless spiders. I hate bugs.

Something cracks below us and I'm pushed to my back as more rock crumbles away. I roll to my front, whipping my head around blindly and yelling, "Don! DON!" I slide forward, down more rubble as rocks roll down around me, or pelt me in the back of the head. My hands reach nothing but air and I call down, "Answer me, you asshole! Don't you dare leave me here!" I can't be the last one. I won't be the last one. "Donatello!"

"I'm alive. I'm alive," I almost dove down there right that second, "Wait, don't jump! I'll climb back up. This is some of the best news yet," Don sounded cracked with that maniac laughter again. Always creepy. Doesn't help that he's a mind reader. Too damn smart for his own good. "The floor is collapsing! This is perfect!"

Fuck. He's lost it. Screw laying up here like a retard as my brother loses what's left of his already unstable mind. I roll forward and grip what rocks jut out from over the edge of the hole, dangling inside like a worm on a hook. Don is still laughing like a madman below.

"What the hell is your problem, man?"

"They might still be alive! If the floor collapsed when the first wave of debris fell after the explosion, maybe they're just down on a lower lever! We might still find them!"

"I'm dropping and I swear Don, you better fucking catch me. I'm not breaking my legs anymore than they already are."

"I will, I will. It's far easier to walk down here. These are old catacombs of the sewers that the city built on top of when the other tunnels kept on overfilling during rainy days and shoving all of the garbage out into the river, not that it's already overly polluted and filled with," I let go and he catches me but doesn't even stop his babbling, "Every article of garbage spewed from this city. If the floors of the tunnels have soft spots in the floor that caved in, then they are probably close by on this level. I still can't see, but it'll be a lot easier to find them if they are here, because there are parts of the ceiling that hasn't caved in yet. We have to move fast, the pressure from all of this debris is probably already wearing down the infrastructure of the-,"

"Don, DON! Shut the hell up before I shut you up!"

"Right. We need to find them, and fast."

I hate being the one that he just drags around like a useless sack of flour, but it's not like I can do anything else but be useless. Fucking broken legs. Don isn't shaking as much anymore, and he's bouncing like he's had five pots of his black-as-death coffee. That shit could be used as battery acid.

He seems to know where he's going and occasionally mutters something under his breath that sounds like garbage to me, since I can't make any sense of his babbling. Something about dimensions, probability, and some other calculation crap that I don't want to think about.

We didn't find anything. There was less shit to stumble around in, because most of the tunnels down here were still holding up, barely. The longer we went on without finding anything the more Don made this pathetic chocking and gagging sound in the back of his throat. My eyes start to burn and spill over again, "They're fine. Stop your crying."

"Do you remember what you last said to them? I don't."

Now my throat's got a lump the size of New Jersey as I choke out, "Just keep walking. We'll find them."

"There's nowhere else they would be except for here. Either they're buried under the rubble above, or they fell down here. It's not like their bodies stopped existing. They have to be somewhere."

"We'll find them."

"How the hell do you know?" Don is crying now. "How do you know when all I can think about is the impossibility of them surviving! We shouldn't even be alive!"

"But we are still here, and we are going to find them. So stop your damn crying and keep on walking."

Don snorts and I could hear the snot move all the way up to his brain, "Look who's calling the kettle black. Or are you going to tell me that it's just dust in your eye?"

"Dust. It's all the damn dust that's flying around and if you were smart, you'd keep your mouth shut about it."

He laughs and I make sure to wipe whatever slobbery snot is on my face all over his shoulder. Don makes a fuss over it and I freeze up at a high pitched chime that echoed so quietly that I was halfway convinced that I imagined it. "Don, shut up. I hear something."

We stand in the complete darkness for a few minutes. Nothing. Not one damn sound.

"I don't hear anything."

"Me neither," I look around uselessly because I still can't see a damn thing and grind my teeth. I'm such a dumbass. Of course I'm imagining shit in my head. Can't even keep my head straight.

Don flinches as another chime rings, much louder this time. "I heard that!"

"Hell, yes! I told you I heard something!"

He starts to move so fast that my feet don't even touch the ground as he runs forward, leaping over whatever obstacle I can't even see. We get so close to the sound that I can hear it clearly and slam into some wall of rock. We fall back and I holler from behind my teeth as new waves of pain shoots up from my legs. It's like somebody is running a jackhammer on them. "Fucking hell!"

"The sound was here, I know it was." Don stood up and I could hear him almost slapping his broken hands on the rock repeatedly, "Leo! Mikey! If you can hear me, make that sound again!"

After only seconds there is that chime again, and Don begins to climb up the rubble. Cold droplets of water splash on my face and I tilt my head to get a few in my mouth. Tastes like shit, but at least my mouth isn't as dry anymore. "He's using the pipes, Raph! One of them is using the pipes to communicate to us! That brilliant son-of-a-bitch!"

I snort, which sounds more like a hiccup, "That's my line, Sherlock. Now come back and drag my ass up there."

I don't have to tell him twice as he comes to drag me up and over the rubble, following the sounds of the pipes being beaten against. We only move around fifty feet but with all the rubble that Don has to climb over, it takes minutes instead of seconds. We eventually get there and I can feel in my gut that somebody is there. "Leo? Mike? Say something, already!"

"Hey…"

I can't even tell who it is; the voice is crackling so much. Don brings me closer and I try to step forward, only to have my dumbass leg collapse on me. There's somebody laying there. The skin is cold and clammy when I touch it, and already Don is circling around to map out in his head where everything is. I just feel around for a hand and grab it, crushing it with my own.

"Leo?"

"Lost him. Can't…" Leo coughs wetly, like he's hacking up blood. Probably is, with all of this shit on top of him. "Right before me. Couldn't reach him in time. Don't know where he is."

"We'll find him, Leo. He can't be far away. He has to be around here somewhere."

Don starts to dig around in all of the rock. I can sense his desperate obsession from where I'm sitting against the rock that's trapping Leo. I'd be there myself if I wasn't so damn tired.

"Raph…" His voice is so raw, that I could barely hear him over his wheezing. There's too much stuff on him. He's being crushed. I have to get him out because he can't survive like this for too long. I shift so that I'm closer to hear him better, picturing in my head that if we ever did get this rock off him, that'd he'd just fall apart because he's in so many pieces. There's a cold puddle forming under Leo and growing every minute and I know that it's not water.

"I-I can't feel anything. I can't feel my body."

* * *

**A/N- Dun, dun, duuuuuun. This'll probably be another SHORT story, somewhat the length of The Longest Drive. I don't want to be as flowery as that story, so I purposefully made it from Raph's perspective. He's not really the flowery type. Heh heh heh. I'm also really bad at writing or allowing myself to write really sensitive emotions in the Turtles, because I tend to think of them as hardened warriors. This isn't a battlefield though, this is new, raw, and something they were not prepared for. So alas, you have severely upset Turtles. Keep in mind that I have been known to kill of these characters. Whether or not this is going to happen is still up for grabs, since I'm not following an outline. I still don't know how this is going to end. Ha ha ha ha ha! **


	2. of the End

_I know that this chapter is much shorter than the last, but I've been extremely distracted with studying my ServSafe book. I didn't actually go over this, I am too impatient to go over it again, I just want it posting and out of my documents. So here ya'll go. Hopefully it's enjoyable!_

* * *

"I-I can't feel anything. I can't feel my body." I feel ashamed to admit it, but I knew that the likelihood of myself getting out of here in one piece is now slim to none. I can't feel my legs and the feeling in my hands are beginning to tingle away into a numbness that makes my heart quicken. I'm dying. I'm actually dying.

"Don't talk like that. You'll be fine. Don'll get us out of here," Raph whispers above me, close to my ear so that only I could hear him. Hear his desperation.

I could argue. I could tell him that that wasn't true, that unless heavy machinery was brought down here, that there will be no way to remove all of this debris off me. My brother needs hope though, so I crush his hand in mine with what strength I had left and tell him, "I know. We'll be fine. We'll get out of here." Lies, all of them. But lies that will keep both of us breathing.

Rocks tumble down around us and I can hear Don sliding down to us and kneeling besides me. He's probably touching the blood now, the blood that smells so thick around me, "There's enough room to bring the Tunneler up here, and I have some equipment that can dig you out." He sounds breathless, "I can get us out."

"Good," I actually stretch my mouth into a smile, "That's good. Do that then, you both can-"

"I'm staying," Raph interrupts me, "I ain't leaving. I'd just slow you up anyways with my busted legs."

There is no point to argue. I don't have the energy to nod, not that they could see me, so I squeeze his hand in my own and say, "Okay. That's fine." There is a moment of silence where I can sense Don's reluctance to leave, as if he's just hovering around unsure of what to do. "You can go, Don. You're the only one who can move well enough. Don't worry about us."

I can't feel him, but I can hear and imagine his feather-light hands examining whatever he can under he debris. Don hovers around my midsection long enough for the warmth of his body to actually seem in past my numbness. It is a nice, comforting feeling.

"Don?" He must be leaning his forehead against the rock above me, because I can still hear him breathing shallowly, as if he didn't want to take his next breath. "You can go."

"I can't," droplets of emotion rained down from him, "I can't just leave. I know that I have too, but Leo..."

"It's fine. I'll leave everything to you."

"There's not enough _time_. I won't be back for at least two hours and your, your..."

"His what?" Raph asked with a tone sharp enough to cut diamond, "Tell me what the hell is going on then, Don. Leo'll make it. He's just trapped under some rocks."

He doesn't know. Must have not noticed, or wanted to take notice when he first knelt besides me. Not that I can blame him. I don't really want to believe it myself. Don is too choked up to talk, I just wanted to reach up to tell him, with truth, that I am going to be alright. That nothing is going to happen.

"My shell, all of it, it's broken." Even now, I can reach down to touch the soft insides and resist the urge to vomit. Everything is leaking out of me. "This debris is what's holding me together."

"So what? We move this shit off of you and you fall apart?" Raph's breathing increased and I could hear his voice hitch, "That there's nothing we can do? This is bullshit! All of it!" Hysteria now. Better for him to get this out of his system now, with his hand still clutching mine with a shaking grip.

"Raph," I run the tip of my tongue over the roof of my mouth, "It's alright. It'll be fine," I repeat.

"The hell it is," he murmurs darkly before lapsing into silence.

I can feel my brother hesitate, as if he is mulling over what he wants to tell me, but can't find the right words. I can't see Don, but I can hear the habitual tapping of his fingers against his sides. Closing my eyes, I focus on my breathing and make sure that I don't lose the rhythm. I need to keep fighting. Just a little longer.

"What you said earlier," Don began with a heavy tone, "about leaving everything to me." Another hesitation. Seconds slipping away. Keep on breathing. Keep focused. "You're making a mistake."

"That's what I told him too." The memory was so fresh in my mind, even now. The fear of my father's decision, the pride and uncertainty that followed so quickly. So many raw emotions flooded me at once, back then, I can't even imagine what my brother is experiencing now. More likely a nightmare, which was for me more like a crazy dream. "You'll be great, Don. Really," I assure him.

He kneels beside me, I can hear his knees scrape the rocky ground. Pressing his forehead against my own, his skin fire against my own as his whispers, "You're mistake is that you're assuming that you're going to die here. I swear to you, no matter what my own brain is telling me, I'm going to get you out of here in one piece."

"How?" Raph spoke up finally, his voice so strangled that it had the sounds of hundreds of rocks grating against each other. "How the hell are you going to pull that off?"

"Maybe if," Don floundered, "I can hardly even imagine this working, but-"

"But what?" Raph interrupts Don, "This better not be some half-assed scheme to glue him back together."

"Half-assed isn't exactly how I would describe Utrom technology," Don quipped in reply, "I've been studying the effects of their time bubble, if you will. So far I haven't been successful, but-"

"We don't have days or even hours here, Don-"

"Stop interrupting him," I cough in hopes out to settle down my soon-to-be bickering brothers, "We still have to dig Mikey out, and he might be even worse off than me. Do whatever you need to do and be quick about it, Don."

"Those better not be last orders."

"Of course not," I could at least twitch my mouth into what probably scarcely resembled a smile, but it would suffice. "Go on."

"I'll see you again, both of you," Don promised as he rose to his feet. He hesitated again, and I knew why. The uncertainty of the future. The uncertainty of knowing whether or not this is the last time he was going to be with us again. I'm not sure that if I was in his shoes, if I would be able to make the decision that he was going to make. I wouldn't blame him if he didn't leave. If he just stayed here. I knew my brother though, I knew that he was far too logical to let his own emotions cloud his mind to the point of abandoning all hope. Where his heart may falter, his mind will succeed.

"When you come to blow us the hell up, do it right and don't make a mess out of us." Raph barked out with a fully clogged nasal passage that gave away his poorly concealed sentimentality.

"You're already a mess, nothing much more a few well-placed explosives would do to you." Don corrected as he did, what I assume, to be an awkward embrace from all the pained grunts and loud shifting by my feet.

Raph sniffed again, and I think I could actually hear the snot travel up to his brain. The big sack of emotions. My fingers twitch, like they're trying to reach out to my brothers. I wish then that I could move only enough to join them. Being trapped here, or anywhere, always made my skin crawl and my pulse quicken. Buried here, I had to be careful to keep my calm. The faster my blood pumped, the more I lost, and the quicker I'll leave.

The quicker I'll never see my family again.

A battering ram of pressure explodes on my chest, crushing my body with sounds of cracking and squelching that left my mouth sour with disgust. Beyond being under this rock, I can feel and hear the rest of the tunnels shaking and sending down a few smaller waves of debris. Either aftershocks, or the debris above us finally losing it's ground to let gravity take it's course.

"Raph, this area isn't stable. You need too-"

"Like hell I'm leaving, just hurry the fuck up and get that tunneler! Don't lose your way either, I don't want to get my broken ass up to find you."

Don hesitates again, an electrical air of fear and anxiety filtered around me and I knew that he is probably waiting for my blessing. "Go." I would say more, but by the thick, watery effect of my voice, I'm not quite sure I'm physically able to continue. The last word apparently hit the right chord because, even though his footfalls were silent, I knew that he was gone. Donatello had finally left for help. Or at least, hopefully, for safety.

A hand clutches my own, and I can barely register that it's Raph's as everything seems to have been dipped in a sea of cold ice and water. All around me there is only darkness, so vast and more immense than any darkness I had experienced before. I knew I was trapped laying here, but even then, I felt as if I would get lost in this darkness if I didn't have the hand holding me down.

"Stay with me, Leo. Come on, don't leave me you selfish bastard."

I think my face twitched, it was hard to tell, with me barely being able to feel it. Or anything, at this point. Oddly, I can still feel the pressure of my brother's hand within my own, although I doubt that's physically possible. Probably just my imagination, but I will take it.

"We've been lost in the sewers before this. This ain't nothing. We'll get through this."

Never could remember when my brother had been so optimistic. In a situation like this, somebody had to be. I lick my lips, forcing my mind to focus enough to gain control of my facial features again. It is so hard to breath, like there is a damp rag pressed down my throat that makes the air I breathe out whine like a mauled animal.

"I'm sorry," I can't tell if Raph was sobbing or not, there is too much background noise of more rocks tumbling down around us. "For every damn, stupid thing I did. Not listening to you, or, or listening and not caring. Fuck if I know. Everything, okay?"

"It's fine," I can't even recognize my own voice anymore, "You good."

At least before I could make regular speech, now I can't even seem to wheeze out any words at all. It was too cold. I should never feel this cold. My hand is becoming slippery, due to blood, tears, or sweat, I'm not sure. Raph shifts to his back, grunting as I hear his legs scrape roughly against the ground, so that he's by my side fully.

"Bad idea. Get hit," I barely manage to cough out. Death was never in any means graceful, but I wish I had more poise in it's embrace, so that I could possibly be of some use even now. Right now I'm just this dying failure, trapped under miles of sewer with one brother incapacitated, another lost, and the third fleeing for help even though he knew that there is none.

"Doesn't matter anymore," he sounds so lost, "If I get buried by a shit load of rocks, that just means that I'm in the same situation you are. I know you remember what I told you, back when we were younger and you just got the promotion."

What I know didn't sound like a snort, more of a drowning wheeze, is still understood by my brother as he barks out his own laugh. "Yeah, yeah. I still call it a promotion. Kinda was. With you being called up to be the leaders. Fearless leader, or whatever. Damn, we were stupid kids."

"Still are."

"Yeah. Didn't even get to twenty. Better I go down before my looks do, right?" I don't laugh. He continues, "But you remember what I said. You go anywhere, and I'm following. Doesn't matter if it's to your damned voodoo store or to hell. I'm coming."

If I had enough breath, I would tell him how I would buy incense and meditation stones, not voodoo dolls or toad eyes. Even though I know it isn't important, I want to say it. But because of the situation, I stick to saying, "Not now."

I don't want him to follow me anymore. Not this way. Not today. I don't hear his reply, because there's another rumbling that runs around us the deafens all else but the cries of rock and stone. There's a hiss of steam somewhere in the distance, after the initial falling of debris ends. My brother doesn't move from my side. True to his word, he lays motionless with his teeth grinding in pain as I'm sure his legs and more of his body is pelted by the smaller debris.

The sewer is trying to devour us.

"Never good with this sort of thing," his voice is raw, like a tortured nerve. "I'm gonna try anyways. Mike told me what you said to him, over on that mountain. About us only having each other." A pause as more rocks began to fall about them, the instances happening with more frequency and increased violence. "You're a dumbass for telling him that, even if you're right. We all know it's true. Fuck, it's probably what makes us so damned paranoid about each other. Saying that shit means that there's no future if you go, if any of us go. So, fuck it all," his speech was interrupted by more debris crashing as his voice raised in pitch, "How am I, or any of us, supposed to move the fuck on when you're dead?"

I can't tell if he's angry or sobbing. Probably both, by the way he's crushing his forehead into my shoulder to bury his face. I don't know how to console him. I don't know what I would do in his skin, I can't honestly saw that I would be able to move on after a loss of one of them. So I say honestly, "You don't."

He laughs. He cries. He screams. He curses at the world and this situation. I fear for his sanity, but wait until he calms down enough to rasp out, "I fucking love you, man."

This should be the moment where I say something monumental. Where my last words mean something deeper than anything that I have experienced in life. I need to make an impact somehow, say or do something that will help my brother, help my family along what I know will be bad days ahead. Gripping my brother's hand in my own with strength that I did not know I had, I swallowed the gushes of blood flooding my mouth and said, "I'm with you, here." I guide my hand to his chest, and place it down in the center, above the beating of his heart. "Always, Raphael."

Then there is nothing.

* * *

**A/N- Okay, last words and gushy emotional dying stuff is NOT easy. It was so SO hard to not make everything super corny, which I think I failed at, but whatever. I try. I may or may not leave off here. If I get inspired to continue, I will, if I don't, I won't. Simple as that. It seems like it could be a good, solid ending. Still up for debate though. I'll see how my other stories are going, and maybe if I'm stuck there, I'll dwindle here a little bit more. But don't be surprised if this shows completed in a week or two, just for a head's up. I don't really want this to be another vamped up version of The Longest Drive. Hopefully you guys enjoyed this, I know it was pretty fun to write. But I love drama and all that. Heh heh heh. **


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